4 Invaluable Aspects of Positive Thinking by Jennifer Abbott (Guest Writer)

What is positive thinking? There are a lot of misconceptions out there about what positive thinking really is. In fact, some people get so frustrated with it that they give up on positive thinking all together. One of my teachers passed along some invaluable lessons about positive thinking that I am now privileged to teach to others. I would like for us to take a look into four of these essential aspects that, if applied, will yield great seeds of positive changes in a person’s life.

1. Look at the overall picture. This includes keeping your focus on what is really important. When making every day choices, ask yourself, “How can I act on the things that really matter to me?” This keeps you from getting distracted or bogged down in trivial unimportant matters. You know what is important and you live it. Clearly laying out your values, priorities, goals and vision for your life is a great way to get started.

In the same way, when you are in the middle of a trial, take a step back and see things in perspective. Is this going to matter at the end of the day, in one week, in one month, in ten years? If not, resolve to let go of it. If it is going to matter, then act on it in a constructive way if it is indeed something over which you have control. A good question to ask is, “How important is this in the whole scheme of things?” If it is important, ask yourself, “So how can I take care of this in the best way?”

2. Do not set yourself up for failure. Once you become aware of this one you may be surprised at how often you do set yourself up for failure. I know I was. Watch your words. Are you constantly telling yourself, “[This] will happen,” or “[This] will turn out [this way].” Let’s all face it; things happen that we have no control over. If something is likely to turn out different than you want, then do not tell yourself it will turn out exactly how you want or expect.

Example: Let’s say that your friend lives 2 hours away and you are going to go see him. You plan to arrive at his house at 6pm. Automatically, you say to yourself, “If I leave at 4pm I will get there at 6pm.” Makes sense, huh? Well, what happens if you have car trouble along the way or you get stuck in traffic because of an accident or some other event over which you have no control? Are you frustrated? Very likely you are. The longer it takes to take care of the situation the angrier you become. How could you have avoided this? Change your language. What if you said to yourself, “If I leave at 4pm and everything goes as planned, I will arrive at my friend’s house at 6pm.” That changes everything. It might even help to leave early if possible in case something does happen.

Just last week, I forgot this lesson and I set myself up for failure and got very frustrated. I was working on a business project. I said to myself, “I’m going to finish this in a few hours.” Three days and several complications later, I had gotten very frustrated and finally finished the project. (This could also be a lesson in planning wisely). Plan and execute, but realize life happens. Be prepared for anything and watch your frustration dwindle.

Are you planning on being on the internet all day? What if your internet goes out for the day?

I try to remember to tell myself each morning, “Anything can happen today. I can handle anything that may come up.”

*Note: This is not an excuse to avoid planning and expecting great things for your life.

3. Look Ahead. People who are focused on the future are not stuck in today’s problems. If you always have forward thinking and a hurdle does come up you will know how to handle it. As a matter of fact, you will know how to use it for your advantage. Some good questions to ask are, “What good can come from this?” “How can I use this to my advantage (or for good)?” and/or “What can I learn from this?” It has always amazed me that when I get my mind focused on how to solve a problem, it goes crazy with positive thoughts to work out a solution. Try it. You may just amaze yourself.

Napoleon Hill reminds us that “Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit.” We simply have to look for it.

4. Think about good things. Very similar to point number three, it also never ceases to amaze me that when I begin thinking about just a few good things, that my mind automatically starts thinking about more good things. Usually people are stuck in the rut of negative thinking. One negative thought leads to another and another and ……. If we can simply switch the gears of our brain to think about one good thing, then that can lead to another and another and…. It multiples before you know it.

One thing that helped me the most was writing down my blessings. Once I wrote down just a few then many others came to mind and I had a long list. I reviewed these daily and thanked God for them. Pretty soon I was humbled at all my blessings and became very grateful.

Guest Writer - Jennifer Abbott blogs regularly at http://principlesforpeace.com. You may visit her blog there to read more about positive thinking and obtaining peace in your life. You may also wish to subscribe to her feed by clicking here or sign up for email subscriptions via her blog.

Comments

[Vision Care]

But positive knowing is when you absolutely know that no matter what, you will be successful. http://blog.eyecare24.com/

[Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D.]

Hi Vision Care,
Jennifer is away from her computer for a couple days. However, I thought I would throw my 2 cents in. There are lots of stories to support the idea that you must hold an intention and not allow ANY doubt to creep in. Think of Napoleon Hill's story about his son. So there is the possibility that we can influence things that would appear to be things we have not control over.

On the other side, I believe I understand what Jennifer is saying. If we simply say that something will happen and we don't put the full effort to really work that intention and banish doubt, then we are probably setting ourselves up for failure.

Thanks for joining the conversation, Vision Care!

[Jennifer]

Hi Vision Care. It is crucial to know without a doubt that we will be successful. But it is also important to realize that hurdles WILL come up along this journey. Knowing that and knowing that you are going to succeed ANYWAY helps to eliviate the frustration when those things do happen. Not setting yourself up for failure is not an excuse for not planning, succeeding or living your potential. That is not the point.

[Lance]

Sometimes we all set ourselves up for failure. I've found this at work recently, and when it happens, I surely am not in a most positive state of mind. I like the idea of changing my language.

You also talk about writing down your blessings. Something similar that I have done with much success, is when I'm starting to get frustrated or impatient - I remind myself that what I'm about to do, some people in this world can't even fathom. We have so much. I am blessed. When I internally tell myself this, I find my attitude changing immediately. Writing down blessings sounds like a good complement to what I'm doing - another thing to try!

[Davina]

Positive thinking is a skill I haven't mastered yet... consistently that is. I have experienced how I can turn my mood around by focussing on positive thoughts and things that I appreciate in my life. But, sometimes a negative thought is there and needs to be looked at (but not dwelled upon); there is a learning in the negativity too. Guess the key is balance. Easier said than done... I know :-)

[Shilpan]

Jennifer - Excellent post as always. I love this quote from Mr. Hill, “Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit.”

I remember a story about Edison who asked his wife to look at his research building when it was caught on fire without worrying about the loss of his life's work. He began rebuilding the lab next day.

Shilpan

[Jennifer]

Lance, I really like your technique for remending yourself how truly blessed you are. That also puts things in perspective fast! I'm going to remember that.

Davina, it takes a lot of practice to master positive thinking. I don't think it means that a negative thought never enters out head. It's just so crucial to recognize it when it first enters, acknowledge it, and decide to not dwell on it, but to take a look at it later. Look at a time when you really feel like you can look at it - when you are at your best (remember the HALT formula). Timing is crucial. Distract your mind with a creative good hobby until that time.

Shilpan, I too love that quote. That was a powerful story you told about Edison. I haven't heard that one before.